You may not appreciate it, but your cat’s primary aim in life is to enliven and invigorate your otherwise miserable existence – honest!
The ancient Egyptians worshipped them… Napoleon was afraid of them… and you’ve made the mistake of being owned by one! Cats, being the resourceful creatures that they are, have a number of tactics to keep you in prime condition – after all, it’s in their best interests.
Early morning wake-up call
Cats appreciate the need to be fully operational immediately upon waking. They also recognise that many of us humans have difficulty in this area. They are, therefore, only being thoughtful by being sick in the night outside your bedroom or bathroom door. After experiencing that delightful, squelching feeling between your toes while still half-asleep, you will always be fully alert within seconds of waking. Your cat’s generosity is also known to extend to visitors…
Honing your hunting instinct
Despite being regularly told that we’re constantly on the go, many of us lead sedentary lives. Your observant cat recognises this and has devised a range of aerobic exercises to keep you in tip-top condition. Any cat owner will notice that when your pet introduces other livestock into the house, it invariably isn’t dead. Many people make the mistake of thinking that the cat wishes to play with the unfortunate mouse/rat/frog/pigeon at his leisure. Wrong – he wants you to play with it at your leisure! Stand by for such enjoyable exercises as ‘moving the cooker backwards and forwards’ and ‘catch the ornament’ – and feel the benefits, both physical and psychological, that a frenzied stint of emergency housework, vacuuming and domestic repairs can induce…
Keeping you alert to hazards
Danger can strike from unexpected quarters but our veneer of civilisation has tended to blunt our self-preservation instincts. This is precisely the message your cat is conveying to you when he takes a running jump onto your lap while you’re watching television. Isn’t it uncanny how he always manages, without fail, to land right on your most sensitive places! With this startling manoeuvre, your thoughtful cat has your interests entirely at heart: he’s ensuring you develop eyes in the side of your head, as well as toughening you up for the game of life. This antic is, of course, all the more effective in winter when his paws are freezing cold and caked in mud!
Improving your social life
Have you noticed how much your social life has improved since your cat adopted you? True, the number of visitors you receive isn’t what it used to be, but did you ever really like those so-called friends who now claim to be allergic to cat hair? Or make excuses about having a shelf to put up? Of course not! With your home now being a place for solitary contemplation, there’s nothing for it other than a night out on the tiles. And with you out of the way, boy, can your cat really party! You arrive home tired, and perhaps emotional, to find feathers everywhere, more than the odd spot of territorial marking, and what’s that you’ve just trodden in…? But would you really want it any other way? On second thoughts, don’t answer that!